I was tried, too tired to put into words. Sleeping for a week is not a physical possibility but that didn’t stop me from wanted to attempt it.

I had been awake for a couple of hours before my wife’s feet hit the floor. For some uncanny reason I asked her if she wanted breakfast. Her morning meal usually consists of fruit or other eat-on-the-go item. She answered in the affirmative and decided on 30 more minutes of slumber.

The last month has been über-busy. Neither of us has much time to shop, therefore the fridge is empty and the cupboards are bare. Breakfast for my beloved was a cipher. I had noodles and water. Tang mian 汤面 is a traditional Chinese breakfast (tang = soup mian=noodles. There was little put in the dish. When served in a restaurant this peasant favorite is served with meat, greens and eggs.

I had four slices of bacon and a partial bucket of KFC chicken. The eggs in my larder had gained sentience. I cracked four of them to discover strange colors and odors from the inside of each.

Scratch the eggs.

Making the soup I found no ginger in my kitchen, not even a dried and hairy nub. In the recesses of the icebox, hidden behind a package of Kraft cheese slices, a small piece of ginger revealed itself to me. It must have been fate. I was doing a nice thing and the Gods were rewarding my efforts.

I added the noodles to the soup. There was precious little in the pot except for noodles and soup. A few pieces of fried bacon could be seen if you picked through the mess. It was not good enough, not for wo de lao po.

I looked again into the fridge, for inspiration. The smiley visage of Colonel Sanders stared at me from a red bucket. Tuesday evening, after a few beverages I decided I wanted, (nay, needed) to eat the KFC family meal myself. I didn’t succeed, hence the bucket in the fridge. I stared at that Kentucky gentleman and wondered, “Dare I?”

Two pieces of chicken were stripped to the bone, the meat diced, and placed in the giant noodle bowls.

How did it taste?

Not as bad as you would think. Fusion cuisine is always interesting. I may look at copyrighting my recipe, just in case the multinational conglomerate controlled by Harlan Sander’s ghost attempts to steal my idea.