Mothers’ day is in May, isn’t it? I can’t keep the litany of holidays straight in a head bursting with too much stuff.  A quick check of answers.com revealed to me that, yes, Mother’s Day is in May, the 13th.

My mother is about 12,645 kilometer away from my wife and I. She visited last fall, the first time I had seen her in more than 18 months. The prospects of seeing her again are dim; perhaps sometime in 2008.

Mother’s Day was a holiday invented by the greeting card companies, or so I thought. A search in Wikipedia revealed that this holiday can be traced back to ancient Greece and worship of Cybele and Rhea. The Romans celebrated a festival called Matronalia where mothers were given gift during March.

I went surfing for an e-card to send my beloved 妈妈. I was struck by the incredible amount of ridiculous holidays currently on the calendar. Over the last several years we have witnessed the number of  “special” days grow, just as we have witnessed named months ie. Black History Month. Several years ago it was the infamous ribbon campaigns, when every cause had a different colored ribbon to symbolize its plight. Every celebrity had something pinned to his or her lapel to show the world what they supported. Yack.

A look at May’s “holidays” would surprise you:

Chocolate Parfait Day
New Homeowner’s Day
Plant A Flower Day
Global Love Day
Lei Day (Hawaii)
Beltane
School Principals’ Day
Wesak Day (Malaysia)
Stepmother’s Day
Buddha Purnima
Baby Day
Full Moon Day
Truffles Day
Day Of The Holy Cross (Mexico)
International Tuba Day
Relationship Renewal Day
Significant Other’s Day
International Firefighters’ Day
International Respect For Chickens Day
Chocolate Custard Day
Derby Day
Hoagie Day
International Midwives’ Day
Scrapbook Day
Homebrew Day
Children’s Day (Japan)
Freud Day
Unmother’s Day
Beverage Day
School Day
Roast Leg Of Lamb Day
Robert Browning’s Birthday
World Red Cross Day
Student nursing school Day
V-E Day
Victory Day (France)
Receptionists Day
Victory Day (Russia)
Great Northern Beans Day
Clean Up Your Room Day
Golden Spike Day
Minnesota Day
Military Spouse Appreciation Day
Chair Day
Kite Day
Limerick Day
Babysitter’s Day
Nutty Fudge Day
Leprechaun Day
Crazy Day
Stars And Stripes Forever Day
Clean Up Your Street Day
Clergy Day
Chocolate Chip Day
Love A Tree Day
Ascension Of Christ (Day)
Constitution Day (Norway)
World Telecommunication Day
Visit Your Relatives Day
International Museum Day
Circus Day
Malcolm X’s Birthday
Neighbor Day
International AIDS Candlelight Memorial
Birthday Of 123greetings.com
Victoria Day (Canada)
Greek Philosopher’s Day
Waitstaff Day
Skyscraper Day
Maritime Day
Bifocals Day
Mesmerism Day
Declaration Of The Bab (Day)
Escargot Day
Tap Dance Day
Wine Day
Self Reliance Day
Africa Day
Bridge Day
Pentecost
Auto Race (Indiana)
Wisconsin Day
Mount Everest Day
Ascension Of Baha’u’llah
Compact Disc Day
Vesak Day (Singapore)

Other May Events:
Teacher Appreciation Week [ May 6 – 12 ]
Friends Week [ May 20 – 26 ]
Military Appreciation Month [ May ]
Date Your Mate Month [ May ]
How do you celebrate so many holidays?

The obvious answer is to fit as many as possible into one day. I think I will celebrate Roast Leg Of Lamb Day with beer (a nod to Home Brew Day), wine, chocolate custard, while sitting in a chair (let’s not forget the all-important Chair Day.) Oh yeah, I’d eat a leg of lamb too. Perhaps International Respect For Chickens Day could be celebrated in connection with Leg of Lamb Day? I will respect the chicken by eating lamb instead.

Could Limerick Day and Leprechaun Day be celebrated with Beverage Day?

Ah, the silliness of it all. When will they have a 30-something, trodden-upon Gen X WASP day? Some would argue that everyday is this day.

Now it’s time for me to celebrate Hoagie Day (while I celebrate Chocolate Chip Day).

* list of holidays stolen from 123greetings.com