I bought some new duds for my new role as a … I don’t think I have a title at my new job. Mrs. Stevo gave me instructions before I went to the market. No XL-sized shirts. As I’ve lost weight she thought I could wear something a little less tent-like.
And nothing ugly.
Ugly is a pretty relative term. I won’t argue the fact that I do buy ugly shirts: In fact, the ugliest shirts I can find. Anyone who has visited China (no, not Beijing or Shanghai, and certainly not Hong Kong) will know that foreigners tend to be stared at. I figure I will give the staring public something to see, and possibly blind them, with an assortment of garish plaids and neon monstrosities. I use Asian Fashion to my advantage.
Aside: the day before I was wed my bride-to-be and we were taken to a restaurant in Hunan Province. The town boasts (occasionally) one foreign English teacher. We walked into the upscale eatery and the room went completely silent. It was like something from a movie. Every eye was focused on me. I think I was wearing an orange and yellow striped shirt. No, no one to the best of my knowledge, went blind.
Nothing ugly, she said.
Mrs. Stevo’s wardrobe has improved greatly since I first met her. Back in the heady dating days of 2005 she was festooned with lace and sequins. Her color combination were both frightening and interesting. Slowly, with a gentle nudge or two (and several pounds of severed sequins lodged inside the washing machine) she started to wear clothes I would call “classy.” I place the love of sequins at the feet of the Chinese education system. After 12 years of school uniforms you might be up for wearing a sequin or two.
Question: Did I buy anything ugly? Did you disobey the Hunanese fireball?
Unfortunately, no. A pink short-sleeve shirt, and golf shirts, purple and black (they say Polo and even have the little logo, but I don’t think they are strictly kosher). The Lee navy-blue trousers (knock-offs) have a size 34 waist. I haven’t worn something so small since my pre-fat days (before 2002). They are a little tight, not in the waist. I could be an extra on Queer as Folk if needed.
As soon as she returned from work Mrs. Stevo inspected my purchases. All passed muster, except the pink shirt – it was too faded and looked old. A passing grade for me.
I will sneak back to the market and buy something incredibly ugly. It’s a must.
Buy an ugly tie, you’ll feel good and never have to wear it… 😉
R(etc… )
.-= Ron in L.A.´s last blog ..Devil’s Gate Dam, The JPL and The Station Fire =-.
I would wear it, Ron. One of the simple pleasure of China, that an bed-head being completely acceptable.
Yeah, I would have said no on the pink one, too! 🙂
.-= Kathleen McDade´s last blog ..Walkable Communities and Your Health =-.
Kill-joy McDade, that’s her name.
Pink!!! What were you thinking? 🙂
.-= Craig Ferguson (@cfimages)´s last blog ..September Desktop Calendar =-.
You got no sense of style, Craig. Pink rocks.
Ah, keep the pink shirt. It looks comfy…. and they say it takes a real man to wear pink.
I had the same reaction walking into a restaurant in rural New Mexico once. Complete silence and every head turned. Spooky when you don’t fit with the locals version of ‘normal’.
.-= Norm´s last blog ..Stormy Weather =-.
It’s does take a real man to wear pink, Norm. I am real man biologically, not sure about mentally. Thanks for your note, I keep forgetting to reply.
I have similar reactions in Northern Canada, but nothing as profound as China. Your experience does sound spooky.
I like the pink shirt.
Besides, it’s no fun being normal.
.-= Robin´s last blog ..The piggy flies =-.
I am anything but normal, Robin. hehe.
I’d bet, with your skin tone, you look great in pink.
.-= Shawn´s last blog ..The Wedding Dress =-.
Thanks, Shawn. I’m partial to black, but like to liven things up.
Quite a switch from the jacket and tie you wore in your first ‘post journalism school’ interview. I still have that pic if you’d like to have it :o)
Allison: Yes I would, but I’m scared to look at it.