We all have doubts, those three-in-the-morning pangs that leave us wondering if we are doing the right thing with our lives. Should I? Shouldn’t I? Am I wasting my time? Is there something better?
I am not immune. I love my job, most of the time. Since stepping into management, my time in the classroom, those special joys and frustrations, has given way to budgets, battles, and politics. Save face, lose face, conspiratorial whispers, hard decisions, long hours, and dirty deeds done dirt cheap. Tangled in that web, it’s easy to forget why I’m here.
My students, the 500 primary school 学生 in my charge, celebrated Christmas on December 24. There was a party, with a skit performed by their international teachers, carols, a singing contest, and of course, gifts. I conceived of the concept, although a team carried it to term, and assisted with the delivery. Sometimes it takes a village to “birth a baby.”
I question my life, my career. Is there anyone that doesn’t? But not on Christmas Eve.
The last class of day: Grade 1 students left the large performance room after singing, dancing, and celebrating a holiday they know little about. They queued before Santa (a 23-year-old, athletic American). He handed them a giant red stocking containing a pencil, a lollipop, and a class photo (most thought the stocking was a hat). I handed the gifts to Santa as he wished each student well.
“Merry Christmas.”
“Happy Holidays.”
“Seasons Greetings.”
“Happy Hanukkah.”
The little girl looked the same as her classmates: An energetic three feet topped with dark hair and eyes, body enclosed in a blue-and-white school uniform. Her excitement was evident as she neared the front of the line. Santa needed a moment to prepare the little girl’s gift. The stockings were stuck together and took a minute to separate.
She watched, eyes open wide, and danced from foot to foot with anticipation. The longer he took the higher her steps became. Her enthusiasm was palpable. Santa, finally, handed her the folded stocking. Her face lit up in a supernova smile.
I smiled.
She was happy, that youthful innocent Christmas happiness from the days when Santa is real and the world is still a mystery. She rejoined her friends, laughing.
I have doubts from time to time. Christmas Eve reconfirmed that I am in the right line of work. My concept, my plan, carried out by a team of amazing people, made one little girl utterly happy.
That’s worth the headaches and sleepless nights.
Wonderful capture, in words and picture. 🙂
The stocking does look a little like a hat…
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You brought both a tear to my eye and a smile to my face. Sigh.
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Donna: Thank you.
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Very Nice – it’s good to feel good about what you do (we all have those moments of doubt!)
Many years ago, the yearly Breakfast with Santa at my older son’s church day school became my business. It only lasted two years, and if you’d asked me at the time I’d have said, oh, my, what a pain (I remember sitting in a recliner cutting hundreds of foam parts for a Christmas Tree craft project each child received, and packaging them) but I look back and think, wow. It IS like being Santa.
Great piece, Stevo. 🙂
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You’re suppose to issue a tissue warning with stuff like this.
You help shape the lives of children, Stevo. There is no more important job.
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It definitely sounds like you’re in the right place, and for the right reasons! Nice going, Santa!
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We all live for those moments of reaffirmation.
LOVE the new look of the site, if I haven’t mentioned it before. 😉
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Nice moment. Thanks for sharing it. I hope 2009 brings many more of these affirming moments.
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OMG…who are you??!! 🙂 🙂
Robin (sorry I missed you earlier): Thanks. It is a hat, the photo was from 2007 when the gift was Christmas hats. I didn’t take any photos this year.
LFC: There is something special about being Santa… Thanks for your comment.
Shawn, Corina: Thank you.
Julie: Those moments make it all worthwhile.
Theresa: Thank you!
Allison: I’m Batman.
That’s definitely why you (we) do it.
Sure, you have tons of students and I have two kids, but isn’t that the same thing???
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Ain’t it the truth? Even at my age I sometimes catch myself wondering if I am doing the “right thing”. At my school, I remember not wanting to go to the Christmas performance. I was tired and had to attend a Foreign Affairs banquet earlier in the evening and arrived in a grumpy mood. I was shocked when I walked into the campus theater and there were 5,000 students, all laughing and singing.
Wonderfully written account comparing of the angst we sometimes bring to our tables and realizing that eventually somebody is gonna’ do the dishes.
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