I’ve had an incredible run of bad luck. It happens every few years, like the leap year.

Case in Point: Yesterday.

I thought the text message was informing me of a meeting on Friday at 10 am. The “don’t be late” was prophetic. (I’m never late, some genetic quirk has me 15 minutes early for every event).

After hitting the gym (yes, I go to the gym) I returned home to shower the slimy, tropical sweat from my body. As I dried, my cell phone rang (Mirror in the Bathroom by The English Beat is my ringtone).

“Did you get my message?”

“Yes.”

“The meeting has started.”

“The meeting is tomorrow.”

“No.”

“No!”

I dressed in a flash, donning trousers instead of shorts, Big Wigs would be in attendance. My time on the elliptical trainer paid off (although you might find seeing me doing hula hoop exercises more entertaining): I ran from my apartment to the boardroom with out getting winded.

I thought this would be a small meeting of those of us involved in the marketing project. I’m rarely correct. Two of the four Vice Principals sat near the head of the table. On the throne, presiding over all, was the Principal: The Headmaster, The Numero Uno, The Top Dog, The King of the Ring, The A-Number-One. After more than three years, I can count the number of times I’ve conversed with her on one hand.

Strangely, she knows my names (Chinese and English). While escorting a visiting group of British teachers last autumn I heard my Chinese name, called across a crowded street. I looked up to see Madam Principal staring at me. I was shocked. And awed.

I didn’t meet anyone’s eyes as I snuck into the boardroom and quickly took the nearest seat. Of all the times to be late…

The meeting was in Chinese (go figure). I had missed the beginning and was lost. I can usually understand if I’m there at the start and pay close attention. I sat, sweating. I wasn’t winded, but my shirt was soaked through.

Following a Chinese conversation is an endurance sport. Listening to the differences in accent and pronunciation, and understanding, should be an Olympic event. As I listened, I picked out the following:

1. The upcoming meeting was being held on the lower level of the hotel.
2. My name was mentioned several times, as was the number 260.

One of the VPs said, “I’ll translate for you later.” The Principal smiled at me. The few conversations we have had are prefaced or concluded with a command to learn more Chinese.

Previous Conversations, Translated: Thank you for your hard work. Get some rest, you look tired. Learn more Chinese!

The meeting continued for 45 minutes. I was happy to understand the conclusion when the attendees discussed their residency, their hukou, and if they had acquired Hong Kong visas.

I ventured back into the only sunny day in three weeks.

The day was off to a bad start, it didn’t get any better until I went to McDonalds. They have wasabi dipping sauce for McNuggets!

photo: eatbma.blogspot.com