Is it possible to die of bacon poisoning? This isn’t a question often asked. I may be the only person in the history of humankind to raise this query.
I love bacon. I ran gleefully home when my local store starting carrying the plastic-wrapped, fat-streaked, heart attack-inducing meat product. I cooked the entire ½ pound package of pork goodness and ate it all in one large sandwich.
Gluttony is a sin, but why one of the seven deadlies I’ll never know. I had a Jewish coworker at summer camp that ate bacon like a hungry savage each time it was served. She knew it was her only opportunity to consume the smokey breakfast without religious stigma.
I did find this gem on an article entitled: Stop poisoning your sex life: minimize your intake of five kinds of food, and your beefsteak will continue to sizzle well into your adulthood.
1) Fatty meats: More bacon means less porkin’. Myth has it that gorging on red meat is manly, but fatty cuts of beef, bacon, sausage and full-fat luncheon meats can be wack for your wood. “Most men know that saturated fat and cholesterol narrow the arteries that nourish the heart and increase risk of heart attack,” Lieberman says. “But they also narrow the arteries that carry blood into the penis, which contributes to erectile dysfunction [ED].” These arteries, by the way, are some of the smallest and will be the first to jam up with plaque.
Perhaps I have evolved beyond the need for intimate contact with my wife. If we had children they would want to eat my bacon, leaving less greasy treats for me. How much is too much? Is it possible to OD on bacon, requiring medical intervention? Is bacon poisoning a possibility? I don’t know. A quick search of Google pointed to some pages regarding traditional food poisoning, as well as illness induced by nitrates and a nasty host of bacon’s chemical companions. I’m too lazy to dig into the matter fully. I’ll consider myself a case study. When I find myself in a Chinese ER, sweating pork fat, the truth will be known. Given the simple kitchen, I may have to learn to cook steak instead.
I fell off my chair laughing. Immediately after my raucous laughter, I began writing a new dietary guideline for my husband.
I wouldn’t worry about it poisoning you, seeing as it’ll give you cancer instead:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/health/newsid_7322000/7322628.stm
I could never live without bacon 🙁
Geoffs last blog post..Revised itinerary
Geoff: Six of one, half dozen of another. Hehe. Bacon is a special treat, I could never give it up either. The Big C be damned.
Sure you can die of bacon poisoning, but I think doctors use the phrases “cardic infarction” and “clogged arteries” instead of “bacon poisoning.”
cardiac.
Jackies last blog post..I Suck At Being A Conspiracy Theorist
*snicker* I hope not. Hubby puts the stuff away by the pound.
Shawn Ws last blog post..All My Children
I think I joined Donna on the floor, laughing til we cried!
Corinas last blog post..Sister Number 1~Sylvia
Shove over and let me at some of that. . . Did you know Shawn makes GREAT pork gravy? 😉
thelittlefluffycats last blog post..A Theory Of Relativity
Corina: I’m glad you enjoyed it.
LFC: I like pork gravy. Maybe I can entice Shawn to send me some.
Hello! I have turkey bacon. It has less fat and really taste great.
mikes last blog post..The Who – Who’s Next
Hey Mike: That is not bacon. It’s faux bacon. That’s almost as bad as tofu bacon. Wrong on so many levels.
not to mention, gas.
yb: Gas? That’s the spice of life.
“Perhaps I have evolved beyond the need for intimate contact with my wife”
hahahhahaaha
I’m right there with you!
This didn’t happen for the husband unil after we had a kid tho’
Ali-erss last blog post..Creepy expensive shit for kids! Yay!
Ali-ers: I spend all day with kids. The idea of making them, or at least the physical act, isn’t appealing sometimes. I can understand.
Stevo | Chinas last blog post..afternoon umbrella
OD on bacon? You better make THAT film before Tarentino rips you off!
mercury727s last blog post..‘reluctantly the mind consents to reality’