I am now the proud and temporary owner of a large block of cheese. More than two pounds of the magical, pale orange, milk-based extravagance reside in my refrigerator.

Are you that bored, Stevo? You have resorted to listing the items in your fridge?

Yes. No. Maybe.

In China, cheese is hard to come by. Yes, the perfect snack food is available, but, randomly. Over the last two-plus years I have taken to eating processed cheese slices, of the Kraft variety. How I hated the “cheese food” when I lived in Canada (except when melted in a grilled cheese sandwich, that is a little taste of heaven.) Being far from Canada, and a reliable source of cheese, I was forced to consume the cheese food, and like it.

Standard and delightful hard cheese is available at the imported food store. But, that requires a rather lengthy bus ride. And it’s expensive. Since I am both lazy and cheap, real cheese is not often found in my home.

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Are pirates stealing China’s cheese?

Wal-Mart used to stock New Zealand cheese, but it disappeared, like everything the mega store stocks and I start to buy with zeal. The hypothesis developed by myself and long-time coworkers states that the cheese tanker from NZ to China is frequently attacked and hijacked by pirates. Or, there is a diplomatic squabble between NZ and China that has led to a cheese embargo. The only victims are China’s foreign residents.

I love cheese. My block of old cheddar was sampled last evening. I fried eight rashers of bacon, made toast, and built a heroic (and heart attack-inducing) sandwich. If my body, dehydrated from the evil humidity, had any fluid left I would have wept at the velvety taste of the melted treat.

How long will this cheese last? Will I binge on dairy until I am lethargic and cheese-like? Most likely. Since I have time to write little more than brief updates, cheese will be my topic of choice. Any cheese-based recipes are appreciated.

I will quote Alton Brown and say cheese is, “Good eats.”