SHENZHEN–UFOs in Shenzhen? That’s what one foreign resident says. Steve, a 36-year-old Canadian, says he was abducted by saucer-people from his Bao’an apartment, yesterday.

“It’s hard to believe,” he said.

According to Steve, he was quietly going about his business when he ‘lost’ more than five hours, a phenomenon reported by confessed UFO abductees.

“I was playing on the computer and drinking baijiu,” says Steve. “My wife was watching Han Ju. The screeching and crying of those overdramatic Korean actresses was grating on my nerves.”

According to recent surveys, Han Ju leads to baijiu consumption for most male foreigners in China.

After four or five solo toasts, Steve decided to retreat to the bedroom, to escape the cacophony of Korean cries.

“I thought I fell asleep,” said Steve, “But something else must have happened. Five hours? Some extraterrestrial presence had to be involved.”

Steve said he remembers nothing until waking up in the late afternoon.

“I’m sure I have repressed my memories of the ETs and their mothership. That anal probing will probably come back to me after some hypnotic regression therapy.”