I’m taking a wee trip. Did I mention that? After summer camp finishes next week I will be boarding a bus for beautiful Guilin, Guangxi Province. That will be followed by a short excursion to Chongqing for a colleagues wedding.

I will travel for two reasons: To get away, I’m sick of skyscrapers and car horns, and, I’m tired of having nothing to say when people ask, “Where have you been in China?” Yes, I’ve been here two-and-a-half years and seen nothing famous. No Great Wall of China. No terracotta warriors. I guess I’m a little like an old woman that is happy to stay at home. All I need is a front porch and a rocking chair.

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My wife has been to Guilin and dressed in
colorful costumes. I have not.

I booked my accommodations in Guilin through Hostel World (I may start another blog called Hostile World, but that’s another story). See the blue box in the sidebar? I put it there because it’s a great service. If you’re traveling, and cheap like me (miser-like is the term my wife uses) give Hostel World a try. End shameless plug.

Buying plane tickets was another matter. I can’t converse with local travel agents so I used the online wonder elong.net. It is the Expedia of China and offers discounted fares on domestic flights. They have an English web site, and English speaking staff in their call center.

The web site wouldn’t let me enter the delivery destination for my tickets. The only choice it offered was delivery to Chongqing. Picking up my ticket in the city I needed it to travel to was somewhat problematic. I had hoped to complete the transaction with minimal telephone work. But, as Mick and the boys said, You can’t always get what you want.

Booking the flights was easy. The operator was courteous and helpful. She took my address and informed me my tickets would arrive in the morning. I explained I’d be in Hong Kong until the evening and unable to meet the delivery person. This threw a wrench into the works. If I waited an extra day for delivery they couldn’t guarantee the prices, I was told. I thought about hanging up. She was making me feel guilty for not being home to have the privilege of giving her firm my hard-earned cash.

Finally, she said, the day after the next was acceptable. I hung up and put the minorly annoying conversation out of my head.

In the morning I climbed the stairs to the first class lounge of the ferry from Shenzhen to Hong Kong. As I was translating the price of a Porsche into Chinese renminbi my cell phone rang. It was 7:05 am.

Operator: Mr. Stevo?

Me: Yes?

Op: It’s Elong. The driver is trying to deliver your tickets but he says you’re not home.

Me: No, I’m on a boat.

Op: Oh.

Me: Yeah.

Op: When will you be home?

Me: After 8 pm.

Op: Okay, we’ll bring them tomorrow morning after 11.

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Guilin has a crystal bridge. Perhaps I’ll learn why.

I hung up and returned to my magazine. A Porsche 911 Turbo was listed as 2.4 million RMB. If I saved for 25 years I could buy one with cash.

I cleared customs, pushed my way on to the MTR and started for Chai Wan station. The train was full and it was difficult to fish the cell phone from my pocket when it rang just after 10 am.

Different Operator: Mr. Stevo?

Me: Yes?

Op: It’s Elong. The driver is trying to deliver your tickets but he says you’re not home.

Me: No, I’m in Hong Kong.

Op: If we can’t deliver these tickets today the price may go up.

Me: I talked to someone earlier, they will be delivered tomorrow.

Op: They may cost more. What time will you be home?

Me: After 8.

Op: I’ll tell the driver to come tonight.

I would have shook my head, but the train was too crowded.

By 1 pm I was sitting in a small British-themed brew pub/restaurant in a back alley of Central, playing with my new zoom lens. The house pale ale was cold and pleasing. My cell phone rang.

Me: Hello (resigned)

Operator: Mr. Stevo?

Me: Yes?

Op: It’s Elong. The driver is trying to deliver your tickets but he says you’re not home.

Ya da ya da ya da.

When I arrived home there was a message in my inbox from Elong, asking when I would return home. I thought I could escape by turning off my cell phone. I was wrong.

The driver arrived. I checked the tickets and paid him. The planning part of my holiday is complete. Looking back, it would have been faster and less frustrating using my rudimentary Chinese and giving my custom to the travel agent across the street.

I complain, but every day is an adventure. But, some days I wish life was a little less adventurous.